I’m the queen of analogies and this one, fittingly, takes the cake. I tried to think of an essence I could quickly shift myself into to remind myself exactly who I am when things go south. This essence reminds me what treatment I deserve. Not only by others, but also by myself.
The way you treat yourself sets the standard for how other people treat you. You get what you allow. There comes a time in your life when you start accepting and rejecting the people in your life. You make the choice of who sits at your table.
The essence and analogy I go back to is a Queen.
Queens lead with honor and humility. Seeing yourself as a true queen is a humble form of confidence. Not arrogant, and here’s why.
Queens do what they want. Queens do not go around asking for permission. They might get advice, or seek input, but ultimately they call the shots and take ownership of the results. Queens don’t blame other people for their mistakes.
They are independent. They don’t thirst for validation from others because they know worthiness is ingrained in their identity. Queens hold a status that is worthy of respect and honor. They hold themselves to a high standard for their character above anything else.
This queen mindset means that you don’t settle for things beneath you. Meaning, treatment or actions beneath your status. It has nothing to do with judging the worth of other people as “beneath” you. A true queen lives to serve her subjects, not the other way around.
Character dictates who and what is on your level as a queen. You recognize the weight of who you are and don’t apologize for it. You start carrying yourself with a level of poise, dignity, and respect. Once you are on that level of confidence, you realize it’s less crowded. Queens are not surrounded by dozens of people. They have a core circle of influence they trust, and keep everyone else at a respectful distance. You slowly begin to trust that nothing you do takes away or ruins your title.
Be so confident and assured in who YOU are, you go out and elevate other people’s lives. You aren’t thinking of who you are anymore, your focus is outward. You have self worth, self trust, and independence. Those 3 character traits are what make you a confident queen.
Apply this concept to a few of your past relationships. Queens don’t spend time with people who don’t appreciate who they are. They don’t tolerate disrespect. They save their energy for people and places where they are honored, celebrated, and challenged to grow.
As you grow in confidence, your circle of friends should change. You need to have the court of a queen, not settle for the company of fools.
When you bring a considerable amount to the table, it’s better to eat alone than with someone who doesn’t appreciate what you offer.
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